"And never has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." - Kahlil Gibran
Grief is a frequently misunderstood, and often neglected process, yet one that none of us can deny experiencing. Grief can be explained as an intense emotional response to the pain of a loss. The degree of pain we feel depends on the type of loss we experience, and the intensity of that loss. Examples of various losses include:
- loss of a job/career
- loss of independence or health
- loss of a pregnancy
- loss of a marriage
- loss of a loved one
In my years of clinical experience, I have concluded that so many of the presenting problems clients initially bring with them into therapy, ultimately have roots in unresolved and unhealed grief processes. We are often culturally and socially taught to "hide" our grief. We are told to "be strong", "youíll get over it", or "it was for the best". My belief is that the goal of grieving is to not "get over" a loss, but rather to "get through it" and heal.
Often clients will comment on their grief experiences through the following examples:
"I canít believe heís gone. It happened so fast. It doesnít seem real to me yet."
"Iím so angry. How could she leave me, especially now?"
"If only I had one more day, I would say and do so many things differently."
Allowing the grief process is a necessary part of healing and healing is possible. There is no correct way or time frame to grieve. Grieving is a process. However, grief shared is grief diminished. By allowing yourself the experiences of grieving, you can give yourself the gift of healing. I hope you will allow me to be part of that journey with you.