— Kahlil Gibran
- Are you feeling overwhelmed and consumed with your feelings of grief?
- Do you feel isolated and alone in your grief and that no one truly understands?
- Have you struggled with the end of a relationship or career?
Grief is a frequently misunderstood and often neglected process, yet one that none of us can deny experiencing. Grief can be explained as an intense, emotional response to the pain of loss, and while many may be familiar with the “stages of grief”, none of us experience grief the same way. The degree of pain we feel depends on so many variables including the type of loss we experienced, the circumstances of that loss, and our previous experiences of grieving. Grief is an intense and uniquely distinct experience that must be allowed to unfold with support and patience.
But while many will suggest that grieving will resolve with time, the reality is that grief is ongoing and changes over time, but never ceases to be a part of who we are. We are often culturally taught to “hide” our grief or grieve in private, to “be strong”, or are given platitudes such as “it was for the best” or “you’ll get over it in time”. But the goal of grieving is not to “get over it”, but rather to process one’s grief, heal the deep well of sadness, and develop coping skills to manage the ongoing emotions that inevitably come with living with heartbreak.
Often client’s comment on their grief experiences through the following statements:
“I can’t believe he is gone. It happened so fast. It doesn’t seem real to me yet.”
“I am so angry! How could she leave me, especially now?”
“If only I had one more day, I would say and do so many things differently.”
“No one seems to understand what I am going through. Everyone has just gone on with their lives while I cry every day.”
Allowing one’s grief is an important part of healing, and healing is possible. It doesn’t always have to feel this painful. But grieving is a process, and we often grieve as deeply as we love. While there is no correct timeframe or way to grieve, grief shared is grief diminished. By seeking therapy and support as you grieve, you can develop coping skills and give yourself the gift of healing. I hope you will allow me to be a part of that journey with you.